Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

Ah, getting away was nice. Coming home, however, not so much.

Sure, my husband and I were bummed to have to leave our childless (at least in our case - there were plenty of families at the resort with kids - many of whom included moms who toted their 6 month-old babies on their string bikini-clad hips…who the HELL are these women????) Caribbean paradise, but we were super psyched to return home and see our little guy, who, of course,  we did actually miss.

When we got home, our normally energetic/spirited kid was a total and complete nutball. Think the Tasmanian Devil after downing 14 red bulls and and inhaling an entire 8-ball of cocaine. Perhaps inspired by the Backyardigans “Race Around the World” episode, he took to literally racing around the house, begging us to shout “On your mark, get set, GO!” every five minutes from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep. He was also talking nonstop - offering a veritable Marv Albert-esque play-by-play of every single thing that was going on (“Mommy, I’m eating Goldfish! - “, “Daddy, look! The lights on the fire truck are blinking!”, “Mommy, I’m squirting the body wash into the tub!”). After four days of being home alone with him - especially following our vacation - my husband and I were shadows of our former selves. It was like a hurricane of 2 year-old hit our house. One named after my kid.

I was lamenting about my exhaustion to my brother-in-law, Michael, a child psychiatrist who, in addition to working in private practice, serves as an Assistant Professor at the Yale Child Study Center in New Haven, CT. Needless to say, he has somewhat of an understanding of juvenile behavior. He noted that when he and my sister-in-law used to come home from vacation, they always had to “pay” with their kids, who are now 12 and 8. “When you go away and then come back, little kids especially can be hard to deal with upon your return,” he explained. “Because they don’t have the words or communication skills to express their anxiety or anger over the fact that you left - even if they were completely fine or entertained - they still missed you, and that likely made them sad, mad and a little scared. Running wild is just one way of their expressing that. It’s normal, and should subside after a few days, though - don’t worry,”  he reassured me.

I couldn’t believe that explanation for my kid’s ridiculous “energy” hadn’t entered into my mind; it made so much sense. I thought our kid hadn’t skipped a beat when we left, but apparently he did. As sad as it made me to think he felt sad, mad or anxious as a result of our departure, it made me feel good to know that he loves and needs us.

Now that we’ve established that everyone missed each other, though, can we please calm the f down?