Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

I’ve written before about how absurd a place New York City can be - especially when it comes to the parenting culture. I lived there for nearly 8 years and taught middle school for 4 years, so I have quite a bit of first-hand experience as an observer of the nuttiness of it all. Though I still love Manhattan and in some ways long for the days I lived there, every now and then I read a piece in the New York Times that makes me want to vomit/reminds me that my husband and I getting the heck out of there before I gave birth to my kid was the best thing we ever did.

A good example of such is a piece that ran in today’s NY Times Style Section titled “Basket Case for Camp”. Here’s the text:

“FORGET TRAIL MIX. For parents who are too, um, busy to go shopping for camp goodies, Scholastic Camper Care Packages are custom-made baskets chockablock with wholesome mental treats for children spending the summer in the controlled wilds. Parents — or their reasonable facsimiles — can phone (800) 724-6522 and a consultant will guide them through the store’s assortment of games, crafts activity kits, comic book novels, trivia and joke books and, of course, real books, to construct a made-to-order basket. Top-selling crafts kits include design-your-own pillowcase, make-your-own bunk lantern, fingernail art and the T-shirt as canvas. With purchases over $75, the company will include a tin camp tote and a specially designed letter to your happy camper — because naturally, if you’re too busy to shop, you’re too busy to write.”

I’m wondering if those letters read: “Dear Honey, Mom and Dad love you SOOOO much that they paid top-dollar to have a really creative stranger pick out things you’ll probably like AND write you a letter from the heart! Hope you’re enjoying camp….God knows the Hamptons are much more enjoyable with you in upstate New York for eight weeks!”?