Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

Good for you, Chelsea! I am from Spartanburg, South Carolina I would have told that nasty girl the same thing. I hope Atl chews her up and spits her back out at California!

Love your blog!!!

I just spit my big ol’ coke-a-cola all over my computer screen! Power to the Sista!

I’m a mother from Hattiesburg, MS and wouldn’t take crap from some biatch from CA either. Way to tell her to stick it where the sun doesn’t shine. I hope she doesn’t have children, because who knows how she’d raise them to be!

Bless her heart.  The poor girl from CA simply doesn’t know any better.  I can’t image she will be joining the Atlanta League anytime soon. From a Southern Leaguer in Memphis

Well, Mary Miler I feel great pity for you darling.  Not only have you completely embarrassed yourself but you have also managed to offend the place you now call home.  Being a native Atlantan I hope that I don’t have the pleasure of making your acquaintance.  Believe me when I say you don’t want to run accross my steel fist in a kid glove.  Oh, and just in case you don’t know Barbie, that is just a saying here in the deep south.  I would never actually stoop that low to touch the likes of you! 

Chelsea, you know I got your back anytime!

LOL Chelsea!  Loved your response to the uptight California bitch!  Love your blog too!

Chelsea…Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting that heifer in her place.

I needed a good laugh and I too spit my coke-a-cola all over my monitor.

I especially like the part where you told her off about the opinions not being yours but Deborah Ford’s!

Thanks for keeping it real!—Stella from Texas

Wow. I followed the link from said article. “Mary Miller” is clearly a careless reader. I like a sharp-witted put-down as much as the next girl, but unfortunately your response was neither gracious nor graceful. I won’t be visiting again.

Excellent response…Even if she didn’t say she was from ‘Californication’, most of we Southerners could easily say “y’all must not be from ‘round heah”.  Also, I’m glad you found a place to add the “B” word in your response, because that was the only thing going through my head as I read it.

That said, I found Ms. Ford’s comments on Southern males to be somewhat terribly stereotypical in several areas, to the verge of being mildly insulting.  We’re not a bunch of simplistic hayseeds, as Ms. Ford’s underlying theme of Southern men seems to be implying.  I don’t want to go through each one point-by-point, but suffice it to say that not all genuinely Southern males listen to country music, are nuts over NASCAR, or pick our teeth at the table with the tip of the knife blade.  Some of us adore women with an attitude, will argue like hell and get pissed at our mothers, and most of us will cheerfully admit that our relatives are nuts (if indeed they are – mine are, most definitely).

Although she did get a handful of them correct, I attribute that to the old Southern adage that “even a blind hog can find the trough sometimes”.

In any case, from this South Carolina boy, I came away thinking that Ms. Ford’s remarks and no doubt her whole book, like Mary Miller, just simply “ain’t from ‘round heah”.

On the down side of the Southern Man stereotype, the vast majority of readers will forget the cultural diversity of the South.  Being from Louisiana, I can tell you that many of her orientations of a southern man are downright wrong in MY part of the South.  But all is well.  We can’t all be prime examples of stereotypes the first time around.

I love it! I’m from California and I am embarrassed for that poor woman, she was so offended for nothing.  Yes, there is some really nice mommas boys with manners out in California, but people ARE different in different parts of the country…. not better, not worse, just different, and thank you to Deborah Ford who helping anyone who read her opinions.

I saw the link on msn.com and warily read the article and link. Being a transplanted Savannah/Atlantan now living in Colorado, I am fed up with the ignorance and bias I come up against being Southern.  I am an avid traveler and have met wonderful people in all parts of the country who have no clue as to the real South.  Needless to say, I was not surprised at the response given by Mary Miller to the article.  I did get a good laugh, Chelsea, on your reply.  Thank you for making it clear we are not all dim-witted sisters of Lil’ Abner.  Thanks also to Nathan and dw0508 for their struggle and disgust with the southern male stereotype.

Hi,
I just wanted to say that I’m the Southern Gentleman that your talking about in the article. I’ve been married to the Same Sweet Southern Girl that I feel in Love with 33 years ago.
I don’t care for NASCAR, all the cars look just alike, My wife likes Country Music, I like the 50’s-Dion, Elvis, Chubby Checker, Beach Boys, Jerry Lee Lewis. My favorite song-is on my Cell Ring Tone-When A Man Loves A Woman by Percy Sledge. This should tell you how much I love My Wife. If anything ever happened to my wife, I probably would not get remarried. Because what I see in ladies today. Most are not polite, Most think I have an agenda since I said Hello. I’ve always been polite to everyone.
My MaMa raised her son this way, so we did the same with our son. He is almost 19, going to USC Upstate Spartanburg, SC on a golf scholorship. I’ve shown him how Girls are today. After he traveled all over this Wonderful Country we live in with his Mom, he came home one day at age 17 and said Dad, I’m going to marry a Southern Girl one day. I asked why? He said because it’s true what you said, They’re Sweet Like Mom. His Mom will be 49 soon. I’m 52. Oh Yes, I opened the door years ago for a young lady from Wisconsin, She would not walk thru the doorway. Her responce to me, I Don’t Need A Man To Open A Door For Me. I told her that I was sorry, but my Mom had taught me to Always be a Gentleman to a Lady. I figured out she was not a lady.
Thanks,
Brian B.

Hey Chelsea,  I’m a Southern man married to a Northern woman, and I must say that my wife is the best example about which Deborah Ford is writing.  She sure knows how to love her Southern man.  She let’s me get my “fix-it” fix.  She loves my Momma (and my Dad, too!)  She loves it when I treat her like the lady she is.  She’s sweeter than the tea she makes…and it’s the best (better than Mom’s!)  She’s still learning about Southern life (she takes Southern Living) and NASCAR isn’t all that Southern men like!  She loves my family, ALL of them.  And she loves me tender (Elvis not withstanding, and I’m from Memphis)  Most of all, she loves me…for me…and it doesn’t get better than that.  And the earlier comment about Southern people not getting around?  I reside in Pennsylvania!

Chelsea,
Just found your Blog BECAUSE of that article.  Your comment to the ATL transplant had me laughing so hard I almost woke my kids.

Thanks! I needed that…

I think I love you - you’re my new hero…

Chelsea, I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants when I read this. Your response was priceless. Who sends such a rude email to someone she’s never met? What a loser!

Well…she proved the overlying point…southerners, men and women, have manners and are really nice friendly people; they don’t just put on a show….. And she is from where?

Okay - this is bad…

Why does the Junior League wife have a wrinkled brow?

Because she’s too used to saying to her husband, “Tonight, you want me to do WHAT?”

I’m sorry…I apologize…

To Liz above:  “Dahlin’, don’t let the door knob hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha…”

To Francie - Please order a Chili-Cheese-A-Plenty and a large iced tea for me up there in Sparkle City…gawd, I miss The Beacon Drive-In!

I happened to read your article on “Loving a Southern Man” also.  I agree with about everything but, I eat very little fried food, I hate NASCAR, and love classical music not country.  You are pretty much on the button with the rest though.

Pleasantly surprised , and tickled at your response!
This is my first time visiting your blog, but I’ll be back for more cause you made my night.
from one southern girl to another,
goodnight from North Carolina

Well now what would you call me? Born in Alabama, grew to 16 in California, finished HS and College in TN, worked from Alabama to Texas to Virginia to Alabama to Virginia and back to Alabama until age 40, married first time to an Alabama Girl, second time and still to a California Girl, moved to California at 40, now I’m 50.

I want to take exception to some of the Southen Man article, but then, am I truly a southern man?  I still identify myself as such.  Let me tell you about the part of me that I consider southern. 

I hate mis-truths.  I see no reason for them.  Even little white lies tangle the web. 

I believe men ought to act like men.  Provide, be a rock, fight to protect. 

Nascar?  Couldn’t care less.
Country cooking?  Love some, don’t others.  No greens for me.
Sweet women?  Got that right.
Southern Mom or Sexy Wife?  Sexy Wife EVERYTIME!!!!  Sorry Mom.
Know my culture?  Doesn’t that go for everybody?
How am I not southen?
Not sure I agree with that comment earlier about not putting on a show and friendly to everyone.  So called “distinguished” southerners can actually be quite superficial and southerners in general can be quite judgemental and slow to warm to strangers.  I ain’t superficial but I have to say I can be a bit judgemental and slow to warm. 

I guess I am a half-breed.  Dad-nab-it!

Oh my goodness! I cannot believe what I just read! What happened to, “Taking the high road?”  I am with Liz….“your response was neither gracious nor graceful. I won’t be visiting again”.

“I like a sharp-witted put-down as much as the next girl, but unfortunately your response was neither gracious nor graceful. I won’t be visiting again.”

Girl, I just read your column on dating southern men (like myself), and liked it so much that I stumbled over to your blog.  I must say, you are awesome!  I’m glad you told that heifer off, bless her heart.  It was so funny I almost peed a little.  hehe

No surprise at all that one of the nasty ladies who says she “won’t be visiting again” is from WESTCHESTER NEW YORK!!! Those New York Yankee ladies have no sense of humor and just DON’T GET IT!

Keep doing your thing, Chelsea! My friends and I here in Roanoke, VA worship your blog!

I’m a born and bred Southerner, and couldn’t be prouder, but it amazes me that people like Mary Miller don’t see that they’ve just proved us right.  We are different…and much more polite!  Would a Southerner be that rude?

OMG… I just love your response!!!!  You are awesome!

Hi Chelsea! I used to live in Laurel, MS with my husband (that’s where he was raised and where his family is). I was born and raised up north, but since living in Laurel, I know exactly what you are talking about… I’d heard people say “You don’t want to mess with a southern woman” but I never took it seriously until I met my husbands family, and a tight knit family it is! I know my hubby’s mamma would rip someone’s head off if they crossed her. I love how you responded to Mary’s email, and I wish her luck in Atlanta because she’s going to need all the luck she can get just to survive down there!

As a man from GA, who has been all over the world and the U.S.  I would like to say Ms. Miller’s takes on “Loving A Southern Man” are pretty generic. My dad loves Nascar, but I find it rather boring. Football is my thing. High school football (state wide), Collegiate football (South Eastern Conference), and NFL. But my dad couldn’t care one bit about football.
I love Country music.  But not exclusively. I listen to everything from hard rock, rap and R & B to Gospel music. Ladies if you like or can stand hunting, fishing, football, country music or Nascar you can woo a Southern gent’s heart. But, then again, there are plenty of men who love these things but live no where near the South.
P.S. Grits is an acronym for Girls Raised InThe South

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