Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

If Mike Nichols wants to do a remake of “The Graduate” (a.k.a. my favorite movie of all time), I’m hereby inviting him to cast me as Mrs. Robinson and my most recent crush, Michael Cera, as Benjamin Braddock, the young buck she seduces and later beds, much to the dismay of her daughter, who’s dating him.

I always thought Cera was adorable on Arrested Development, the canceled Fox series that employed way too much brilliantly subtle humor to be embraced by the majority of television-watching America, but ever since seeing him in recent movies “Superbad” and “Juno” (in which he delivers an especially “I love you, Michael, really….I do” performance), I find him absolutely swoon-worthy.

Sure, he’s a barely legal, single Hollywood star at the peak of his marketability and I’m 32, married, nearly 7 months pregnant and go to bed with pink dot constellations of Mario Badescu’s drying potion on my zits, but who the hell says I don’t have a shot with him?

Call me, Michael…...I’ll be the Demi to your Ashton.