Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

Kate, Kate, Kate. Did no one ever tell you that when you’re going through a big “life change” (or book publicity tour?) that you’re never supposed to get a radical new haircut? Especially one that looks like you did it yourself with a Flowbee?

Despite all of the media blitz surrounding Kate’s husband Jon’s alleged infidelity, most of the talk among my pals surrounds her hair.  “I haven’t seen a wedge that cheesy since my last trip to Whole Foods,” my best friend Jessica remarked after seeing it. Another friend referred to it as “The Volcano”- things flying into the air in the back, lava down the front. Momtourage member Hallie asked, “Imagine shampooing it? Or what it looks like wet?”. Me, I wonder what her hairstylist was thinking when cutting it, and how s/he instructed Kate to style it to replicate the look at home. Did s/he say, “I’m going for a Posh Spice meets ‘There’s Something about Mary’ sorta thing!’”? Kate, you need to petition your state’s cosmetology board to revoke the license of the person who butchered you like this, pronto.

Jon, however…even though he’s clearly a cheating little weasel, I don’t feel like he deserves as much outrage as Kate’s hairdresser. Scream, write me nasty comments, whatever, but here’s why I feel this way: Unlike much of America and most of The Momtourage, I have never been a fan of TLC’s “Jon & Kate Plus Eight”. I watched once - it was the episode where Kate ripped Jon a new one for not using a coupon - and just couldn’t deal. First, seeing that much chaos caused by little kids was not my idea of entertainment - it was like watching the parts of my life that I watch t.v. to get away from. Also, and perhaps most difficult for me to witness, was Kate’s treatment of Jon. Sister is mean. I didn’t find it funny or charming; it just made me sad. Even though I never found him exceptionally likable, I felt badly for Jon. Poor dude has eight little kids and a wife who treats him like one of them. I bet he looooooves coming home to that.

Recently, it’s being reported, Jon’s been seeking some affection - and who knows what else - in the arms of a young Pennsylvania teacher, and not in Kate’s. Now, I’m not condoning infidelity - it is wrong, and bad and wrecks homes, but I can’t help but wonder if Kate’s repeated beating down of Jon had something to do with his lookin’ for love in all the wrong places. Sure, he was never a perfect guy - far from it. And yes, she’s under a lot of stress, caring for all of those kids, but it’s tough for me to ignore the possibility that Jon’s actions are a result of his getting really sick and tired of being treated like crap. It also seems Kate sought out the spotlight more than he did, so perhaps she got a little more into the fame game that he did (or was invited to by the media - she is clearly the one with more star quality), which likely caused tension in their marriage. I wonder, though, is the bottom-line reason behind Jon’s cheating that he wanted to be in the company of a woman who treated him like he was great, the best, the sexiest, the smartest…whatever - and not like a raging moron? In other words, not Kate - bad hair or otherwise?

While watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” the other night, cheese-tastic housewife Dina remarked “You gotta be your husband’s girlfriend, or he’s gonna get another girlfriend!”. I chuckled, then pondered. At the risk of setting the women’s movement back 50 years, I see some truth in Dina’s statement. I don’t see “being your husband’s girlfriend” as needing to be a different or more attractive person so your spouse doesn’t cheat. Instead, I interpret it to mean that you should strive to be a person he enjoys being around, someone to whom he looks forward to coming home.  If you love him, that shouldn’t be too much of a stretch, right? Yes, we are all so stressed between work and the kids and the house and God knows what else, but being kind to your husband (assuming he’s worthy, which he likely is because you married him in the first place)...well, I think that’s worth it’s marriage-resilience weight in gold. You have to wonder: would you want to be all nice and loving back to a spouse who wasn’t?

Was Jon?