Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

Hi! I just want to say that I love your blog (amazingly I found it reading those exact articles)! And I have never cheated - I tried (once) when my ex ticked me off, but when it came down to actually going home with the guy (who is now one of my best friends), I just couldn’t do it. I have been cheated on more than I can count (and most of those times were from the same ex). I will admit (although I am not proud of this fact) that I have been the “other woman” and although with one guy I knew about her and the other two times I didn’t find out that he had a wife/girlfriend until it was much later and it was hard as hell to walk away (b/c feelings got involved) but I did anyway. Not a good situation to be involved in!

Is it considered cheating if you are in a long term relationship (international) and you both have said its ok for you to go out with & date other people, but if it does not work out we will be there for you?  Well that’s where I’m at.  Mentally thinking about beautiful woman that I catch a glimpse of, I am guilty of cheating if you consider me to be in a relationship still.  I think we are in a very close friendship, and like each others safety net.  I haven’t actually gone out and talked to another woman to get to know them yet though.  I do know that physical attraction is a very small part of the picture, but the emotional and mental part is the larger part of it.  I have found out that being attracted to someone on emotionally and mentally, has greatly increases the amount physical attraction I have to a woman (yes I do understand infatuation and I’m not referring to it).<BR><BR>After more than a year and half not be able to see my other I find myself more attracted other woman.  Thank God for STD’s and other ailments which stop me dead in my track (referring to going to talk to someone to get to know them).  I haven’t had any nor do I want to receive any.  I remember I would wait the whole day just to see her for a couple of hours, to hold her, kiss her.  I would wake up in the middle of the night, kiss her and put my arm around her again if I had moved it while sleeping before, sometimes I’d wake her.  We talk now, but the senses except for hearing are missing.  It’s quite easy to love intimacy, companionship, communication, spending time with, & having fun with a woman.  Once you no longer have access to them, then the mentally thinking (type of cheating) about other woman starts.  This is after we have already communicated the lack of them (intimacy, companionship, communication, spending time with & having fun, etc.).<BR><BR>On another note, how many of you woman would respond to a guy that started with:<BR>Guy: Hello I’m ... And I was wondering if you are single?<BR>Reply: Yes<BR>Guy: I’m attracted to you, by the way if you are having physical pleasures or intimacy would you mind stopping get tested & share with me the results of the test while we spend some time to get to know each other.  <BR>Would you think I wanted you just for pleasure or would you think I was genuinely interested in you?  Would you say this is a result of your maturity due to your age?  Is it because you can actually think about what was written before you answer rather than if a guy stopped you walking?

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