Chelsea Kaplan’s Musings About Life... After Birth

In addition to being the Deputy Editor and Beauty Director for The Family Groove, cyberspace’s coolest parenting magazine, and a regular guest on XM Radio’s “Broadminded”, I do a lot of freelance writing for various magazines and websites. Generally, these topics center around beauty and skincare (most of which appear in Self Magazine, so check it out), but I also I do a lot of writing on dating and relationships for match.com, which often runs its content in the dating and relationships sections of msn.com and aol.com.

My match.com gig is funny to me and the Momtourage for a number of reasons: #1, I am not single, #2, I am not dating, #3, I am not an expert on either. “Sustaining a marriage for nearly 6 years makes you an expert on these issues!” one Momtourage member said to me when I joked about it. Perhaps she is right, but I still think that in light of the fact that my idea of a date involves going out with my husband to a place that does not supply high chairs, my being DC’s version of Carrie Bradshaw is a bit of a laugh.

Recently, I began writing some pieces for match’s gay and lesbian dating section ( #4, I am not gay), and in contacting some authors for expert quotes, they sent me copies of their books. Recently, my home has been flooded with titles like “Girl Meets Girl” and “Gay and Single Forever?”. One author sent me her latest book, the meant-for-hetero-AND-homosexuals “I Love the Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide”, which I received this morning. I opened it as my nanny, Rosalba, fed my son breakfast.

“Oh my…what is this book?” asked Rosalba, setting my son down on the floor. He ran over and grabbed the book, opened it and started leafing through the pages. Awesome.

“Uh,  I think it is a book about sex and the art of pleasing women,” I replied. Why mince words?

“I think it is good they have those books. Men need to read them. Maybe I need to read it!” she said. Who knew Rosalba, in her 50s and the mother of a grown daughter, was so saucy?

My son turned to a page with an entry marked “Zucchinis, Cucumbers and Squash”.

“Oh look, a recipe!” Rosalba said.

As cool of a lady as I am sure Rosalba is, I chose not to correct her.