Musings About Life... After Birth

From today’s Wall Street Journal (no I don’t read it regularly, but my business-y best friend Jessica does!):

Buying overpriced indulgences may feel good in the short term, but you pay the price later. Or at least that’s the conventional wisdom.

Luxury-goods makers, of course, will eat this up. I can see the slogan now: “Luxury: It’s Good for Life.” Or “Cartier: You’ll be sorry you didn’t.” Whether luxury is good for your finances is another matter. (Nobody goes bankrupt saying “I wish I’d spent more on Gucci bags).

Here in DC, my Momtourage and I are in full-on potty training mode. Some of us have all but accomplished fully potty training our kids (Dana), some are well on their way (Alicia), and some are just beginning to introduce the idea (the rest of us). Regardless of where we actually are in the process, it’s all on our minds, as most of us have kids who will be 3 between August and December.

I fall into the “just beginning to introduce the idea” category, as Big Bro is no where near being fully ready. He is, however, interested in the subject, which is promising. He loves sitting on his little potty before he takes a bath at at other times during the day, and occasionally, as luck would have it, he pees in it. My husband and I make a huge deal of it when he does, he feels happy, and all is good in the world. Now he’s fixated on pooping in it, which I consider a sign of progress. He’ll sit and sit and grunt, hoping to make things happen, confused as to why “the poop’s not coming out!” each time he wants it to. Despite this frustration, a few days ago, he actually was successful. My husband and I were freaking out, we were so excited (never thought we’d be those parents, but, of course, we are), not to mention proud of him. It hasn’t happened again since then, but he keeps on trying, and that’s all we can ask for at this point.

To maintain a child’s potty training momentum, a lot of professionals and books recommend instituting some kind of reward system - you know, a sticker a star or some sort of treat each time they go, as incentive. My kid’s not into stickers, but he does love hand stamps, so I’m using Melissa & Doug’s Happy Handle Stamping Set as his bathroom bonus. Each time he goes, he gets to pick one stamp (current favorite: the paw print, which he says is a “clue” as in a “Blue’s Clue’s” clue). They’re easy, convenient and economical, and, best of all, he really feels like getting one is some special sort of treat. Therefore, in my opinion, they’re the perfect potty reward. And if you’re one of those folks who gets all concerned about the psychological ramifications of rewarding your kid each time he poops or pees on the potty, chill. Do you honestly think he’ll be 13 and still expecting a sticker each he poops? Glad we’re clear.

You can get a stamping set of your own for $9.95 at divasanddrooligans.com. For 15% off your purchase of the stamping set and anything else you find on there that you must have, enter code MOMTOURAGE15. The site is also running a cool promotion where if you spend $35 or more on merchandise, you can purchase any of their screen tees or onesies for $1 when you enter the code DOLLARTSHIRT.

Now go forth and potty train!

Heather from Sarasota, FL writes:

“My kids will eat nothing but the typical kid-fare: french fries, mac and cheese, fried chicken fingers, PB&J, etc. They like fruit, but hate vegetables. Should I be concerned that they’re not getting enough vitamins? Should I give them supplements? Will they ever like good food?

The Momtourage’s illustrious pediatrician, Dr. Reva Snow, answers:

When my older son was 3 1/2, he gave up mac and cheese (which, by the way, could only be Annie’s white cheddar with shells; any other pasta shape was anathema).  Priorto that he had given up pretty much anything else he used to eat including spaghetti, all vegetables, most fruit and anything dairy. My irritation level spiked: now what the heck was I going to feed him? Now he’s 6, and while his diet is still quite limited compared to many of his friends, he now eats an assortment of fruits, a few vegetables, and a
fair variety of proteins and carbs (I’ve given up on dairy; thank goodness for calcium-fortified orange juice). And once in a blue moon he’ll even try something new without gagging.

It’s normal for children to go through a sometimes prolonged picky eating phase, usually beginning between their first and second birthdays. At least in part this is a result of wanting to exert some more independence and control. And because it’s about independence and control, fighting or forcing the issue will make things worse, not better.  Plus, you never want to set up bad or confusing associations with food (or with pooping, but that’s for another “Ask the Pediatrician”).

Your best bet is to remain low-key and model the eating behaviors you want your kids to acquire.  Easy to say and hard to do when feeding your kid is a basic tenet of mom-dom.  Here’s some tips to hopefully make that job easier:

1) Whenever possible, eat meals together and let your kids see you enjoying a variety of healthy foods.

2) Keep treats as treats, not as bribes or substitutes. I promise your child will not starve even if she seems to refuse to eat anything but potato chips and you don’t give them to her.

3) Know that children - toddlers in particular - will grow and thrive on what to an adult is a remarkably small amount of food.

4) In addition to putting out foods you know he’ll eat, put out a small amount of something you wish he’d try (like a vegetable).  Repeated exposure will actually, over time, make these hated foods more acceptable.

5) Even though you absolutely do, act like you don’t care what your child eats or how much. Calmly encouraging or mildly offering verbal positive reinforcement for tasting new foods is fine.

6) Teach older children (3 or so, and up) about “growing foods” that make them strong, fast, big, etc., and involve even younger kids too in choosing (and growing, if you’re so inclined) and preparing food.

7) When your young toddler starts refusing previously acceptable foods, don’t give up altogether on offering them. It might just be a “food jag” or phase that will pass fairly quickly.

8) Try different forms of the same food -  cooked, raw, with sauce, with cheese, spicy, mixed with other foods, whatever you think will work.

9) Encourage your child to physically explore preferred foods, even if they don’t actually ingest them. Use zucchinis and peppers as stamps, or bang a drum with carrots! Again, the more familiar the food the more acceptable it will become.

10) Know that it’s actually pretty uncommon for American children to be significantly vitamin-deficient (assuming you’re not feeding them exclusively Cheez Curls and Pepsi), so they don’t really need vitamins.

11) Take the long view on their intake - if they hit all food groups over a week, rest easy. And if you are concerned enough that you can’t at least pretend to be relaxed about their eating habits, or if their diet is exclusively white, by all means give them a multi-vitamin.

12) All of us were once, to some degree or another, picky eaters. And all of us, to some degree or another, learned to eat and enjoy a variety of healthy foods. Someday, and it will probably be here before you know it, so will your strong-willed, chicken-finger-lovin’ finicky kid!

[NOTE: There are some kids who have significant sensory issues relating to foods and textures, medical issues that show up as severely limited diets or overall intake, or who are not gaining appropriate weight. If you are concerned about any of these, or feel like your child is significantly more picky than typical, please talk to your pediatrician.]