Musings About Life... After Birth

I got a press release today from the folks at Lynnina, a new swimwear manufacturer founded by Lynn Werner, who is described in the release as “a California-based mom who wanted to create a chic swimsuit alternative that delivered style, coverage and comfort”. Lynnia’s debut swimwear line “features boardshorts in a variety of colors and prints, with complementary mix and match tops…that ensure that unsuitable suits never get in the way of a cool dip on a hot day or splashing around with your kids at the pool.”

I sooooo want to support Lynn and momtrepreneurs in general, but oh sweet Lord, these suits are FUG. Check them out:

If Mom Jeans were swimsuits, I’m afraid these would be them. Even these cute, skinny models look dumpy in them. Bleech. No. Freaking. Way.

Even though I myself do it all the time, it makes me sad that the word “mom” is so often associated with the pejorative. Ugly jeans are “mom jeans”, big ‘ol, unsexy minivans are too “mom”, etc. I know there’s this whole “hot moms” movement, complete with books and television pilots and skinny celebs who grace the covers of Us Weekly looking Victoria’s Secret runway-ready an hour after giving birth, but you know the female image that comes to mind when “mom” is uttered isn’t JLo. More like Patricia Heaton’s character on “Everybody Loves Raymond”.

Just the other day, I was in workout wear store Lucy with Momtourage member Dana, and she was encouraging me to try on a pair of Lucy pants that she loves. They were cute, and quite comfortable. However, they they gave off a “this is as put together as I could get today - some workout wear/exercise clothes” vibe to me that I immediately associated with “mom” - and not in a good way. When I asked Dana if they were too “mom” she was like, “Um, I’ve got news for you, Chels - we are.” True, but does that mean we have to totally sacrifice attractiveness/style because we have kids? Personally, I refuse.

I know my bod’s not the same as it was before I had kids, and thankfully, there are some pretty hot-looking Miraclesuits and Spanx swimwear options out there. But this crap? Kinda feeling like it’s an insult to moms everywhere. Lynn, honey, give us a little more credit! Or at least some better colors and patterns.

Thanks for all of the comments and emails you’ve been sending me about my participation in the American Express Membership Rewards “Live On Points” challenge to revamp my bedroom using points only. I promise, promise I will post pics once everything is in - no worries, y’all!

As I wait for the deliveries, the good folks at Membership Rewards have offered The Momtourage’s readers a chance to engage in their own version of home making-over: they’re giving me a $100 Crate and Barrel gift card to give away to one lucky reader! Wanna win one? Send me an email at chelsea@themomtourage.com and tell me what you’d use the gift card to purchase and why.

Good luck!